Emotionless
by Rena-Chan2
Summary: *Songfic* "Emotionless" by Good Charlotte Cloud travel back to his hometown to only discover that his alcholic father has died.


            The rain came hard down onto the lone warrior's head. It didn't dampen his spirits, though… they were already low enough.  He had been walking for a few days now, never stopping, never eating.  He just kept on walking tirelessly down the long road.

_Hey Dad,_

_I'm writing to you_

_Not to tell you that I still hate you_

Though the heavy rain_, foggy shapes of houses soon came into view, narrowing his eyes, he tried to remember where this road led to._

_Just to ask you how you've been_

_And how we fell apart,_

_…How this fell apart…_

            He had meant to stay away from this place, it brought back to many lost memories, all of them bad. He was back in his hometown, Nibelheim.  Cursing his bad luck, he turned around to leave, and saw his old home.  Suddenly realizing how long it had been since he had been home, the former SOILDER wondered if he would be welcomed there, but quickly dismissed the idea.  He didn't want to go back anyway.

            He had gotten news that his mother had died while he was away, training to be in SOILDER.  Cloud was on a mission while on her funeral, so he couldn't attend… he still hasn't even paid respect to her grave.  He may as well now, since there was no one else to do it.  

            Cloud entered the graveyard, and walked past the crumbling tombstones of forgotten relatives, friends, and admirers.  He only wanted to see his mother's.  When he got to the place where most of his family was buried, he wasn't surprised to see his mother's tombstone was unkempt and cracking.  Cloud keeled down and lightly brushed off the weeds and mud. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw there was another stone, slightly newer, and next to his mothers.  He took a gloved hand and wiped off the mud covering the name.  It was his father's.

_Are you happy out there in this great, wide world?_

_Do you think about yourself?_

_Do you miss your little girl?_

"Keep your elbows up, son," his father was saying. "So that way, you can block and attack."

            The, boy, no older then seven, nodded and took a fighting stance, his wooden sword held fast in his small hand.

            He father smiled, "Ready?"

             The boy nodded again and prepared himself for an attack.  His father lunged at him, careful not to harm his young son.  The two wooden swords clashed, Cloud smiled and took his attention off his father for a second to gladly think that he was winning.  

            His father noticed the opening and hit the sword out of the boy's hand, and Cloud fell hard to the ground.

            Tears sprang to Cloud's eyes, but he closed them, he didn't want to let his father see that he was going to cry.

            "Cloud? You alright?" his father picked up the small boy up into his arms. "I didn't mean to hurt you… are you alright?"

            The boy nodded bravely.

            His father beamed at him, "That's my boy."

            _When you lay your head down,_

_            How do you sleep at night?_

Cloud felt the old anger surge throughout his body.  He balled his hands into fists, how he hated that man.  Hated everything about him…

            His mother's crying awoke him, the blond boy slowly opened his eyes, and the smell of alcohol was heavy in the air.  This wasn't the first time that he had woken up to his father drunk, letting out all of his anger on his mother.

Cloud titled his head up to see his mother, her face in her hands.  There were bruises on her beautiful face; his father was nowhere to be seen.

             "…Mom…?"

            His mother looked up at him, tears in her eyes.  "Cloud, honey…," she wiped the tears away. "Why aren't you still asleep?" 

            Cloud looked uncomfortable, he avoided her eyes, "I…I heard you crying…"

            Now it was his mother's turn to look uncomfortable. 

            "Was it Dad again?" the boy asked timidly. 

            His mother didn't answer, but held her long arms open for him to walk into; Cloud hugged his mother as tight as his small arms could. They broke their embrace, his mother was crying again.          

            "Cloud, baby, look at me…This is serious." his mother gripped his shoulders tightly.  "Your father… he's… he's gone. And he won't be coming back."

            _Do you even wonder if we're alright?_

_            If we're alright?_

_            If we're alright…?_

They managed to get past the years without him, just Cloud and his mother, by cutting food and other things.  Cloud was a young man now, and he had decided one day that he would join SOILDER to help fight in the war… what he's always wanted to do.  

            His mother agreed, but the disappointment on her face was hard to miss.  

            Cloud didn't want to leave his mother, she protected him, cared for him, loved him, for all of his life.

            Holding back the tears in his eyes, Cloud hugged his mother tight, whispered, "I love you, Mom," and turned to leave.

            _"It's been a long hard road without you," Mama sighed _

            _"Why weren't you there the nights that we cried?"_

_            You broke my mother's heart,_

_            You broke the children for life_

Back in the graveyard, the young man fought within himself.  Why wasn't he told that his father was dead?  Didn't they even bother to _think _he would have missed his own father?  Or did they know what Cloud wished to do to his father… every time he heard his mother crying alone at nighttime…

            _It's not ok,_

_            But we're alright_

_            I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes_

_            But those are just long lost memory of mine_

_            I spent so many years learning how to survive_

_            Now I'm writing to you just to tell you that I'm still alive._

Cloud sat in the back of the bus, his helmet in his lap and a letter clutched in his hand.  Across from him, looking out the window was the great Sephiroth, his mako green eyes glazed over and the Masamune next to him.

            "Hey kid, feel any better?"

            Cloud looked up at the black-haired man, there was a hugh sword strapped across his back.  

            "… Not really, Zack."

            Zack grinned, "You know, if you do squats, you'll feel better." He demonstrated a few of the up down motion. 

            Cloud looked away; he wasn't feeling sick from the car, but from the letter that he had gotten from his hometown.  It stated that his mother had died, of unknown reasons, and that the funeral was dated in two weeks. 

            She didn't die of unknown reasons… she died of a broken heart. 

            _The days I spent,_

_            So cold, so hungry_

_            Were full of hate…_

_            …I was so angry…_

"_Sephiroth!!" _

            The legendary swordsman turned his head towards the young man holding the giant sword, looking very angry. Tears were spilling down his face. 

            "How… how could you!?"  Cloud spat, "All those people, that was my _home_, those were my _friends _that you just murdered, you sick bastard!" He lowered his sword, and he looked down at the ground.  "They're dead… and it's your entire fault!"

            Sephiroth grinned at him, "It does not matter now," he said quietly.  "All that matter now is me reuniting with my mother."

            The words rang inside Cloud's head, all Sephiroth wanted to do was be with his mother… like he wanted to do.  But that was impossible, his mother was dead.

            Lifting his head up to look at Sephiroth, then realizing that it wasn't his perfect features… but it was his father's face, laughing mercilessly at him. 

            The old anger inside of Cloud grew.  This was his chance… to get back all those times that he heard his mother crying alone at night… 

Cloud drew up his sword and lunged towards his father.

            _The scars run deep inside this tattered body,_

_            There's things I'll take to my grave…_

_            But I'm ok…_

_            I'm ok… _

The rain was still pounding on Cloud's head.  It mixed with the tears falling down his face.  

He leaned over and gently kissed his mother's grave, then his father's, and turned to leave.

_Sometimes…_

_I forgive…_

_And this time…_

_… I'll admit…_

_That I'd miss you,_

_…Said I miss you…_

                                                                                                                                    End


End file.
